i'm going to start hanging out with my married friends and with my nephews more. my nephews love me more than any stupid guy ever has. the only other guys i care to have anything to do with are going away. The Artist is in a relationship and Will is on the verge, and i'm going to be single for a very long time, so i'm done doing the social thing.
one benefit of the medication i'm taking is that it makes me more reclusive. my social anxiety is under control because i'm just not social anymore. so it really does work out. no one wants me around, and i don't want to be around anyone. Will has changed a lot recently. he doesn't need me anymore. i don't get the high that i used to from being with him...so i guess it is time to let go. i'm disappearing. the medication isn't making it better. i spend more time curled on the couch. i'm done.
everything i try to make it better just makes it worse. i spend more time praying that God will take me home too. he won't. i've been praying that i'd meet someone before Will found a girlfriend. looks like the answer to that prayer is no too. i guess that for whatever reason, God really does want me to be alone. ok, i'll embrace it. alone it is.
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