in the world in my head, the one in which i function best, i'm the heroine. my good traits are all that matter; my bad traits have no power over me. i act and react perfectly. the people i love see what i see: that if only they would let me, i could be what they need.
thing is, in reality, even if i am what they need, if they don't think so, i have no power to do any good at all.
blah blah blah
life is strange. feelings, needs, wants, agency (of self and others)...and how it affects and is affected by God.
i feel very strongly about people. i have been given the gift/curse of compassionate empathy. i feel what others feel. i feel enough, anyway, that i can reasonably surmise what would help. but if they don't ask, if they are not open to receiving, if i'm not the one they want to help...there's nothing i can do...except feel, and pray.
i have a talent for understanding, but people don't want me to understand...they don't want me for anything. what am i supposed to do with that?
is there anyone out there who does need me and/or want me? why can't i find them? i'm wasting away. i feel too much and i can't do anything useful with what i know.
pain isn't worth it unless it's useful.
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