the void

just one someone to be...there...here...
but the void is all i can ever rely on
to be...there...here...
seems to be someone for everyone
...except me...
i just need one someone to talk to.

i can't sleep.  i don't want the new year to begin.  i've been working on optimism since i realized...but now i see that i didn't really, fully, realize until tonight.  The Artist, my The Artist, isn't mine anymore.  by this time next year...i'll be very surprised if he's not...i like her...we're being friends-ish...but everything changes now, and i'm afraid he won't notice...and i'll be the one with the broken heart again.
i knew it was coming.  i was ok with it most of last year...because i had Will to fill in the extending void...but now...well...he's not really there anymore either...

tonight i'm feeling overcome, swallowed and drowning in the void.  everyone...by this time text year...nearly (if not all) everyone...everything will be different...

i'm hoping somewhere in this new year is...someone for me...but i'm not really sure how to hope...it just seems so...not in the cards for me...i don't know.  i just don't know.