walk me through my fears

I need someone to walk me through my fears. I need someone who knows me and loves me and cares enough about me to sit beside me, hold my hand, and walk me through my fears. I can't let go and I can't move on. I'm petrified and incapable of trying again. I am pushing everyone away so the ceiling that is crumbling down around me won't crush or impale anyone but me. I need someone brave enough to stand by me even though they may be risking their own safety to do it. not literally, that was a dramatic metaphor. the only risk, the only cost will be time and love. I wish I could find someone who cares enough about me to stand by me and help me heal.
but where do I find someone as amazing as that? I don't know how to do it alone. I've been working so hard for so long...I've been to various professionals, but I can't pay someone to walk me through in the way I need...I need love too. paying for "love" is against the law ;)

I just need someone amazing to love me...why is that so hard?