i'm acclimating to being alone. i'm not sure what happened exactly, why i have become so antisocial. too much loss, too much betrayal, too much rejection...i suppose. i found what i wanted. i basked in it for a while. i lived the closest i've ever come to the life of my dreams. there were a couple significant aspects missing, but it was close enough. as always, though, the fulfillment of my dreams was just out of my reach. i haven't figured out how to grasp it just yet, so i'm accepting the fact that i'm going to be alone and lonely for a while.
it seems that everyone around me is moving in the direction i want to be going, but i can't figure out how to go that way. i'm not going the opposite direction, it's more like i'm cutting crossways at an angle. i'm progressing, just not the same way others are.
three weeks ago i graduated with my bachelor degree. i realize that comparatively that's no great accomplishment, but i'm the first female in my family, second member altogether, to complete a bachelor degree, so it's kind of important. i didn't do school the way most others do. it's taken a long time. if i had it to do over again i would change a lot of things. but i don't, so i guess there's purpose in the way my life has gone. i wish i could find some insight, but there really isn't any except that for whatever reason i am where i am and have come the way i have and somehow it is all for my good and benefit.
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